gaining strength

Irene is gaining strength now that her children have left home and she is freed from them and constant reminders of their father - whom she divorced many years ago. She is taking a new direction in life and blossoming into a remarkable independent woman.

She believes that there is only one person in life we can change with absolute certainty, and have total control over, and that's ourselves.

In the past, Irene was often forced by her circumstances to give others power over her, rendering her a servant to someone else, but these days she is reclaiming her power.

"Given my life all over again," confides Irene, "I would never marry or have children. I cannot see how any woman in a marital or mothering situation can be a true master of her own life. Wives and mothers may claim to be in charge of their lives, but they're only fooling themselves - as I did."

Married women, and mothers, according to Irene, are either overt or covert doormats.

"How can a woman be independent and a master of her life when she is subservient to others, at their beck and call or emotionally tied to them?"

"The worst possible scenario for a woman," says Irene, "is to be stuck in dead-end relationships, or abused and dominated by toxic families. And millions of women around the world live like this."

Although Irene’s personal life has improved by leaps and bounds since her children left home, her working life leaves much to be desired.

"I am slowly using the strength I've gained from self-mastery at home to gain self-mastery at work," says Irene, "but it's an uphill battle to maintain an independent stance when you work for a company that hires and fires people like expendable commodities and permits all manner of abuses to go unchecked."

In particular, Irene resents working for a manager who constantly reminds staff that they are nothing more than servants and must do exactly what they have been told to do even though it appears to be wrong or stupid.

Irene’s job isn’t exactly lousy - and she’s quite aware that no job is perfect - but she's working towards something better than what she has.

As Irene sees it, independent women are not 'masters', people who kick around other people.

"Independent women are self-masters," explains Irene, "We master ourselves and give others the freedom to do likewise."

She is gaining strength at work by refusing to put up with bad treatment from anyone; knowing her rights and sticking up for them; and being one step ahead of her manager.

"He is a big fool for thinking that he has mastery over me," laughs Irene. "I do what I consider needs to be done and if it concurs with what he wants me to do then that's his good luck. If it doesn't then that's his bad luck."

"I am not interested in going into business for myself," says Irene, "so if my situation at work does not improve, I will definitely find a new job."

"However," adds Irene, "my most important tactic in self-mastery is to become completely independent of people telling me what to do and that involves building up a reserve of money so that I will never have to be dependent upon a job ever again."

"Complete financial independence and self-mastery is possible," says Irene, "even for a woman with an average income. It means cutting back living expenses and learning the tricks of frugality, of course, but self-mastery and total independence often involve sacrifices."

"If a lower standard of living means that I never have to put up with anyone treating me like a servant, " laughs Irene, "then it's something I can live with if I need to. Right now, though, I believe my manager is beginning to understand that he will achieve more from me in terms of productivity and harmony if he leaves me alone to be the master of my job."

"I am not attempting to control him," laughs Irene, "I am merely influencing a change in his behavior that he can either adopt or not."

"It's my responsibility to take care of myself, not him."