friendship improves a dumb job

Deanna claims to have a dumb job because she is not allowed to exercise any intelligence doing it, and the only reason she survives in it has a lot to do with the friendship she's developed with a co-worker.

"I met Catherine at work and she's now my best friend," explains Deanna, "so going to work every day is like a girl thing."

"We are both in our early 30s, both married with no kids, and we've been working for so long together that we’re more like twins than co-workers."

"Our time together at work is spent discussing what we had for dinner last night and what we’re going to cook for dinner tonight," laughs Deanna, "and when we get off that subject we discuss what television show or video we watched last night and what television show or video we’re going to watch tonight - and finally we discuss what we did last weekend and what we plan to do this weekend."

"We’re ordinary working girls - we have no career ambitions and we do what we need to do in order to survive our jobs," says Deanna, "and Catherine and I survive by being bosom buddies on the job and off it."

What annoys Deanna most about her dumb job is that it has no flexible hours and it’s a place where you must not only be seen at work during business hours, but also be seen to be working.

"It's a sort of myopic eyeball management theory," laughs Deanna, "and the only way we survive it is to make fun of it."

"Look around you at work," she says. "If you don't actually see someone doing something, you tend to believe he or she is doing nothing and is a malingerer. Right?"

"There is this generally held belief where I work that one must look as if one is busy, even if one is not. And God forbid that anyone could be flat out working without anyone actually witnessing his or her toil!"

"Bearing in mind that many people need to mentally organize their work before actually doing it," explains Deanna, "it is quite illogical to presume that someone who is seemingly doing nothing - or is out of sight - is actually doing nothing. And yet this mindset really does prevail where I work."

Deanna and Catherine have a great deal of fun teasing their co-workers, particularly old Jones who, according to Deanna, doesn't really spend half an hour in the lavatory at work reading Playboy.

"No, he is really boning up on next month's projected sales figures," laughs Deanna. "And Catherine and I aren't thinking about last night's movie, or tonight's dinner, when we gaze out of the window for long stretches of time. No, we're really concentrating on next month's projected sales figures, too!"

"Because Catherine and I stay up late watching television or videos we'd like to start work at 10am rather than 8am," explains Deanna. "Also, because we've been doing the same job for years we'd really like to make changes to the system to make it more interesting for us but our requests for change are ignored."

"Can you blame us for plodding on and making fun of the job?"

Deanna complains that because we all have vastly different modus operandi and vastly different time clocks, it is silly to expect everyone to conform to standard procedures and business hours.

"Business hours and standard procedures are good for robots or mindless people," says Deanna, "but intelligent human beings work better when their personal time clocks are pointing to 'work' not 'sleep', right?"

"My workplace, like most workplaces, has its chirpy early birds who look decidedly crumpled at 4pm, and its night owls - like Catherine and I - who scowl at 9am and come alive when the early birds are crumpling," explains Deanna.

"Ideally, these two types should never meet," laughs Deanna. "They can't stand each other."

"It would be so much more humane and efficient if the early birds could start early and finish early and the night-owls could start late and finish late - and so much more humane and efficient if those who do work better by thinking about their work could be given as much time as they need to do so."

Deanna suggests that a thinking room would be a good investment for every workplace.

"If businesses really wanted to prosper then they might consider the benefits of flexibility," she adds. "No wonder so many businesses are going down the gurgler! Management spends too much time eyeballing staff and not enough time thinking."

"Okay," laughs Deanna, "Jones is really not thinking about next month's projected sales figures when he spends half an hour in the lavatory - and neither are Catherine and I when we gaze out of the window - but that does not necessarily mean that time away from actually performing work is not spent thinking about something related to work."

"Brains do need some respite and time spent thinking about anything - even sex - is creative fodder for any manner of brilliant ideas that can be applied to work," says Deanna.

"Think about it," urges Deanna. "But if you think about it at work, though, do make sure you are shuffling some papers at the same time because you wouldn't want your boss to think you're not working. OK?"