clean sweeps

Isolde is 36 and every time a relationship breaks up she has a clean out - throwing out everything that could possibly remind her of her ex lover. So far, she has had three clean sweeps but she claims, like the song by Naked Eyes, that there is Always Something There to Remind Me.

"I have a clean out when a relationship breaks up because it gives me something to do - something to expend my anger and energy on," explains Isolde, "and it's also a cleansing procedure - like in Feng Shui."

"When you end a relationship and start a new life you don't want to be carrying any baggage with you," says Isolde, "and getting rid of all the tangible reminders of an ex-lover goes a long way to helping me get rid of the emotional baggage, too."

"But as much as I try to get rid of everything that once belonged to an ex-lover - or would remind me of him," sighs Isolde, "the song comes back to bite me. There is always something I forget that turns up days, weeks, months or years later to bring the pain back."

"My first clean out was a mammoth job because we had been living together for seven years - and he just left me one day, just like that, to face all of his stuff in my apartment."

"I was so angry that I stayed up all night removing all of his things from my place."

"I dumped all his stuff outside the apartment - near the street - and at 5am I left a message for him, telling him where it was and warning him to pick it up immediately before it got stolen."

"I went straight to work after that -without any sleep - and when I returned home that night everything was gone!" laughs Isolde. "It was the most freeing experience for me."

"In the following weeks I started feeling sick because I was still sleeping on the bed we had once shared - using the sheets, towels, crockery and all the other little things that reminded me of him," says Isolde.

"At that time, I couldn't afford to buy new things," explains Isolde, "but when my second relationship ended I went to town with the clean up and bought a new bed and replaced all of my bathroom and kitchen stuff."

"I got over my second lover pretty quickly," laughs Isolde. "Having a new bed, new sheets and stuff really helped. But what remained of him was a book that sat on my bookshelf like a bad smell for a year before I realized it was one of his."

"My third relationship bust up was terribly painful," confides Isolde. "This time around I just didn't want to stay in the same apartment any more. I not only got rid of everything that reminded me of him, but I also physically moved out of the place."

"I was in a terrible state when the relationship broke up and just wanted to get out of that place as fast as I could - taking absolutely nothing with me except for my clothes and personal papers."

"I called in at the Goodwill store, gave them a key, and told them to take everything," laughs Isolde. "I'm sure they must have thought I was stark raving mad - but I was doing what I knew would work for me."

"I lost a lot of money on changing apartments and buying everything new," confides Isolde, "but I gained peace of mind - and that was priceless."

"Three months later I went through my personal papers box and found a photograph of him!" laughs Isolde. "By that time, I was almost over him - not as angry as I once was - and I decided to keep the photo."

"If there is always going to be something there to remind me then maybe I should deliberately keep something to remind me!"

Isolde's story first appeared as always something there to remind me