check out the exits

Shelley is 28 and happily single. She believes that many of the messes we get ourselves into are recoverable from because an exit exists - either being there from the beginning or appearing fortuitously down the line.

"It's the situations that don't have exits that get us into deep trouble," laughs Shelley.

"I have a thing about freedom," explains Shelley, "and I figured out very early in my life that it wasn't smart to get into places or situations that had no exits or didn't allow me to turn back. Unlike George Bush, I go into everything with an exit strategy!"

"My parents had a thing about locks and security," laughs Shelley, "so it was a battle of wits between them and me from the start."

"I was a typical tomboy - climbing trees and getting myself in and out of scrapes, " laughs Shelley, "but my greatest fun was escaping from the house at night."

"They'd lock me in my bedroom and put screws in the window to prevent me escaping, " explains Shelley, "but although sometimes it took me all night to escape I always managed to pick the lock or unscrew the screws!"

"When I grew up this desire for freedom - or fear of being locked up - stayed with me."

"I just wouldn't get into a situation that didn't have an easy exit, " explains Shelley.

"When 9/11 happened I felt sick to my stomach at all those people who were trapped in the building," says Shelley. "I never imagined an airliner crashing into a skyscraper but I had always avoided living or working in a tall building because it would be difficult to escape from."

"Sure it has been very difficult finding a place to live or work in the city that has an easy escape route," says Shelley, "but so far I have managed to avoid very tall buildings and after 9/11 you wouldn't even catch me in any building that doesn't have a fire escape right outside my window!"

"It's not just physical freedom that I crave, " explains Shelley. "It's psychological freedom too. I can't function well when I feel trapped in a situation. Even if there is an open door in sight I need to be able to come and go as I please and a lot of employers - and people generally - don't like that."

"I really believe that my good fortune - having no history of miseries - is due to my ability to check out the exits before I enter any situation."

"I don't care much for money so I don't mind if breaking a lease or a contract in order to get out of a bad situation costs me money," says Shelley. "And I wouldn't worry if I lost everything in a stock market crash - it's just money and I think it's so sad when people kill themselves or go crazy over money loss."

"It's physical and psychological imprisonment that I avoid like the plague."

"I hate being in a situation where I cannot get up and leave when I feel claustrophobic," says Shelley. "If an employer objects to my leaving a building when I feel like it I just move on - and same thing for dormitory rules. Places like that are nothing more than prisons!"

"Also, I don't often get in cars driven by other people," adds Shelley. "Except for taxis, I don't want to be a prisoner in someone else's car - especially on long trips when I can't easily get home if I want to."

"As for sailing," adds Shelley, "I wouldn't get in a small boat because I'm a poor swimmer but I'd feel OK on an ocean liner if I could check out the life boats."

"Flying is the only exception to my 'check out the exits' rule because it's the most convenient way to travel," explains Shelley, "and also because if something dreadful happened then I wouldn't be dying alone."

"I'd get into a plane faster than I'd get into someone's car because if a terrorist hijacked us I'd feel safer with a heap of people than one or two people."

"Death is the final exit, " laughs Shelley, "and I keep an eye on that too!"

"It seems to me that the situations that cause women most misery are situations they can't get out of easily," explains Shelley, "and of these I think having a child is the most dangerous."

"Becoming a mother has no exit - other than death - yours or the child's," says Shelley. "Once a mother you're a mother for life and for this reason I will never have children."

"Marriage has divorce as an exit but some relationships - legal or otherwise - have very bad exit prospects," says Shelley, "and for this reason I do a thorough check of the guys I get involved with to make to make sure they're not control freaks."

"Buying property - especially in an area with a slow sales rate - can be a disastrous trap," says Shelley. "I would hate to be stuck with a property that I couldn't get rid of so I avoid that fate by renting."

"Borrowing money comes second to having a baby in my no exit situations," says Shelley. "If you borrow too much you could be in debt for the rest of your life with absolutely no exit other than prison for defaulting."

"And prison - even for a short sentence - would be reason enough for me to wish I were dead. It's not called a punishment without good reason - loss of liberty is the worst possible fate in the book of life."

"Because loss of liberty is so horrible, it's crazy that so many girls dream of such an existence - via marriage and children - wanting to have all the things I avoid," sighs Shelley.

"It's no surprise to me - and it should be no surprise to them - that most of these girls end up as miserable as sin stuck in a heavily mortgaged house on the edge of nowhere with a domineering tyrant for a husband and more children than they can properly care for."

"Imagine trying to escape from that mess," sighs Shelley "You could walk away but you'd be riddled with guilt and looking over the shoulder for the rest of your life on the run wouldn't you?"