independence day

Exactly fourteen days after a bad incident with a neighbor that set her on an emotional roller-coaster, Norelle, 57, felt healed enough to get back to her 'things to do' -- a list of those big and small tasks she needs to do in order to get her house ready to sell -- and that her getting back on track coincided with Independence Day was a great sign!

"I certainly didn't feel like tackling any of the really big or really hard tasks," says Norelle, "so I chose the smallest task on the list - changing a light globe - and went on from there!"

"I couldn't have done even a simple task a week ago or even yesterday," explains Norelle. "I needed to feel at peace with the world around me - free from pain and fear - and that I achieved this state of mind on Independence Day may have been purely coincidental but I'd like to believe it was a go ahead sign to get moving."

"The last tasks I had crossed off my list of things to do prior to the bad incident had been very big and very hard tasks," says Norelle, "so I was planning on doing some small tasks next. That I had a two week hiatus in which I did absolutely nothing over and above those tasks involved in my normal routine was a blip. That blip could have been spent having a nice time, a good rest, and that it was spent in misery is neither here nor nor there. It's over. It's time to move on. It's time to be completely free to do what I need to do."

"The next small task I chose to do wasn't really on my list," explains Norelle. "It was the finishing touches of one of the big jobs I had completed prior to the bad incident. I had replaced curtains in three rooms and one of them still needed to be adjusted properly. It turned out to be a lot harder than I thought it would be - necessitating undoing all the hanging hooks in order to adjust the hemline - but I managed to do it and by the end of the day I felt proud of my accomplishment."

"The ultimate purpose of my 'things to-do list' is to prepare me - for the umpteenth time - to make a take a new direction with my life," explains Norelle. "For the past six years, since my last child attained adulthood, I've been preparing to sell up and move on, but every time I got close to taking the plunge something happened to jerk me back."

"If it wasn't something happening in the world around me, such as an economic slump, a war or an impending election it was something personal, such as one of my children wanting to return home for a while, a sudden illness, a sudden problem with the house or simply a job offer that I couldn't refuse."

"I haven't had a job offer for a nearly a year now," sighs Norelle, "but I've had endless other personal problems that prevented me from selling up and moving on, and as soon as one is resolved another one crops up."

"I'm hoping that my last bad personal incident -- clearing the air with my neighbor and her kids -- will finally free me from a rut," says Norelle. "Maybe now, on Independence Day, I can truly move on. Maybe the gods prevented me from moving on at an earlier stage because they wanted to protect me from having my new life ruined by something from the past - unfinished business."

"Imagine being in a new home, enjoying a new life, and then having the hell of the past brought into it by failure to attend to unfinished business," sighs Norelle. "What a terrible fate that would be, and how thankful I am that I was spared it!"

"Because of all the uncertainties in the economy and the world I doubt whether I will be moving on this year," explains Norelle, "but I still need to complete all the tasks on my 'to-do list' in preparation for when the right time arrives for my new direction."

"The final thing I need to do before making that momentous decision, of course, is to check out places where I want to move to," says Norelle, "and, because the high price of accommodation here means that I need to move to a cheaper city, I have to save up enough money to make trips to check out what I can afford to buy somewhere else."

"There's no point in moving if I don't end up with sufficient money to keep myself in retirement left over from selling and buying," explains Norelle, "so the final task on my 'to-do list' is going to be a mammoth one requiring all of my wits."

"Of course, I may decide to sell and rent," says Norelle, "in which case I can be completely free - but from the little research I have already done such an option may leave me penniless at an incredibly vulnerable old age."

"The upcoming months - and years if needs be - must necessarily be devoted to my ultimate goal," says Norelle, "and I am mindful at all times that the longer I'm forced to wait for the 'right time' the more likely the necessity to prepare another 'to-do list' and the more likely the possibility of other things going wrong."

"Every time I do horrible jobs, like painting or cleaning windows, I say to myself that I will never have to do this job again," sighs Norelle, "but I've ended up doing these jobs umpteen times in the past six years!"

"While true independence does not necessarily involve a change of residence," says Norelle, "it would nevertheless be nice to have a new home and enough money to make my life more comfortable in my old age."

"Back to my to-do list!"