trusting vs stewing
Peggy considers herself to be a reasonably intuitive woman, but she has great trouble trusting what she knows intuitively to be true. She will stew over a situation rather than accept her inner guidance that everything will turn out okay.“When I’m unsure whether something I’ve intuited is going to blow over or blow up, I stew and worry myself sick,” explains Peggy. “It’s a passive and totally useless reaction to a situation that’s out of my control, but that’s how I cope with the burdens that life has placed on my shoulders.”
“I understand that on one level stewing is an unhealthy and unproductive thing to do, but I still resort to stewing every time I feel trouble looming.”
“Stewing, I guess, is something I do out of fear, being in a situation of powerlessness - in essence being a little girl with heavy responsibilities.”
"Everyone risks misfortune in life - we are all in the same relatively powerless position in terms of acts of God or just plain bad luck," concedes Peggy, "but even when I can cover myself by doing something constructive to avert disaster, the fear remains."
"I guess it’s true," sighs Peggy, "that the greater our dependence on whatever it is we fear losing, the greater our fear. Yet most women have heavy personal and financial commitments and just can’t afford to lose their jobs. In my case, I’m taking care of my disabled husband, Ben, and I’m probably more dependent on my job than most women are."
“Whether we like it or not, we are dependent upon our jobs, or our partners, or our friends as well as life, generally, going on as normal,” says Peggy.
“Nobody particularly likes dealing with spanners in the works, and I just don’t have sufficient emotional strength to deal with errant spanners by either hitting them head-on or deflecting them. Instead, I stew about them.”
“I wish I could trust my intuition and let go of my fears.”
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