need-free survival

Most of us have an uphill battle becoming free of wants, so imagine the magnitude of the challenge that Phoebe has set herself. She aims to become free of all needs.

"I aim to become an independent woman leading a simple life that is rich in everything that really matters," says Phoebe.

Phoebe appreciates that a lot of women aren’t clear about the difference between wants and needs.

"We want a top job, a perfect mate, a trendy pad, a Ferrari, a big fat bank balance and we want to look like Elle McPherson," laughs Phoebe, "but if we really needed any of those things we would die without them so we are obviously quite okay falling short in all of these wants."

In aiming to become more independent, Phoebe is discovering her key values and she started off by becoming free of wants. Ultimately, she aims to become free of needs.

"Our wants," explains Phoebe, "are basically trappings and have no real value other than that which society places upon them - or, more to the point, the value to which an advertisement can appeal to our base instincts."

"Our wants, are generally those that we have Buckley's chance of attaining; and our needs are generally those that we would die without."

The epitome of freedom, independence and enjoying a balanced and authentic life is, according to Phoebe, to become need-free.

"Can you imagine being at a stage in life where you have freed yourself not only of wants but also of needs?" asks Phoebe. "It sounds daunting, doesn't it, but once you've started on the road to freedom and independence you'll find like I have that becoming need-free is not as difficult as you first imagined."

"Every woman," says Phoebe, "has it within her power to get the basics of living under control - a simple roof over her head, simple food, simple clothes and simple pleasures."

"You are need-free," explains Phoebe, "when your basic needs are met and you have no debts, no need to work, no need to strive harder and work longer hours in order to earn more money, no need to be the best worker, no need for burdensome people in your life, no need to own things or people, no need to be famous or beautiful, no need for substances that do you harm and cost you money, no need to have more of anything. You already have all you need!"

"Someone who is free of needs," says Phoebe, "has successfully prioritized things that no amount of money can buy such as good health, high self-esteem, friendship, love, appreciation, joy, peace, time to reflect and time to make a difference."

Phoebe has many of the above blessings in her life right now, but she gave up a great deal of what the rest of us consider to be 'essentials' in order to attain them.

"It is difficult," Phoebe concedes, "to give up a dependent lifestyle - dependent upon others for our happiness and dependent upon consumer goods for even more happiness - but nothing compares with the happiness of independence and being need-free."

Whereas other women assess themselves by their wealth - their assets and trappings - Phoebe assesses her wealth by all the things that money cannot buy. She believes that nobody can be independent and free when they have too much material wealth.

"It is true in some respects," concedes Phoebe, "that money can buy freedom - if you live under an oppressive regime and want to flee to another country - but in real terms people with a lot of money worry more than people with no money, and they are essentially trapped by their wealth."

Phoebe is concerned that so many women approaching old age complain about poverty and believe that their lives would be happier with more money.

"These women have skewed thinking," laughs Phoebe, "because no amount of money will buy them the happiness they crave."

"True poverty is a lack of good health, high self-esteem, friendship, love, appreciation, joy, peace, time to reflect and time to make a difference," says Phoebe, "and there are lots of money-rich people in the world who are desperately poor in these respects."

By 'Vogue' standards Phoebe may look poor, but she is definitely overflowing with wealth in the things that count.

"I've never been happier," laughs Phoebe.