package deal dating
Monica, a single mom of 26, was deserted by her deadbeat boyfriend when she fell pregnant. She's now seeing a decent guy, but when she was out looking for someone she had several unhappy dates with guys who seemed to be less interested in her than her cute four-year old daughter.
"I always presented myself as a 'package deal' - love me, love my daughter," says Monica, "but I didn't expect anyone to take that statement literally."
"No," asserts Monica, "nothing ever happened to my little girl but the whole experience of meeting guys opened my eyes to the number of pedophiles and strange men there are out there preying on vulnerable single moms."
"Sure there were some guys who genuinely liked children and were thrilled with the idea of a ready-made family - the guy I eventually found was like that," says Monica, "but I got a lot of bad vibes from most of the guys I met."
"There was nothing particularly overt about them - they didn't wear a sign spelling out that they were pedophiles," laughs Monica, "it was just a creepy feeling I got when I watched them interact with my daughter."
"The guys I found most creepy were the divorced dads," confides Monica.
"If a divorced dad didn't have access visits with his kids my alarm bells would start ringing straight away," laughs Monica. "I never even let my daughter meet these guys because if they are too dangerous to be around their own children they sure as hell are too dangerous to be around my baby."
"But even the divorced dads with access visits were a lot more creepy than the guys without any children of their own."
"There was one guy whose little girl visited every second weekend and there was no bed for the child," says Monica. "What sort of mother would allow their kid to sleep in the same single bed as the father? Either the mother didn't know what the sleeping arrangements were or she didn't care, and on both counts she is irresponsible."
"Men who are estranged from their wives tend to take their sex and affection wherever they can get it and with a little child in their beds who knows what they are capable of doing - if not for sexual gratification then as an act of spite against their ex wives."
"Another guy who aroused my suspicions was a divorced man with custody of his eight year old son," says Monica. "The wife had run off with another man and deserted the boy and I felt very sorry for the two of them when I heard his story."
"At first I thought he was perfect - a really nice looking man with a gentle way of talking - but I changed my mind when I visited his home."
"This guy was heavily in photography and his favorite subject seemed to be his son - but the photographs disturbed me."
"No," explains Monica, "there was nothing overtly pornographic about the photographs - but there was definitely something indecent about them."
"The boy was half naked in most of the photographs and posed in such a way - with shadows and lights - to highlight the boy's nipples and mouth."
"The man may have justified such photographs as 'art' but I saw them as indecent."
"He also had a cartoon pinned up in his study showing a circle of men - all joined together - use your imagination!"
"I felt even more disturbed when I met his son in person," says Monica. "The boy had a hang-dog look about him and walked in a very strange way."
"This boy was eight years old and was clearly - in my opinion - being sexually abused by his father," says Monica. "It really is true what all the statistics say - the offenders are more often relatives than strangers."
"I couldn't get out of that place fast enough," confides Monica "I wanted so much to help that boy but I didn't see it as my place to report his father for child abuse. That's a job for the neighbors and the boy's teachers - not me."
"I consider myself very lucky to have found a really decent guy after all the deadbeats I had come across," says Monica. "He never pushed to meet my little girl - he wanted to get to know me first - and it was only after I felt really sure about him that my daughter came into the picture. That's the way it should be."
"I always presented myself as a 'package deal' - love me, love my daughter," says Monica, "but I didn't expect anyone to take that statement literally."
"No," asserts Monica, "nothing ever happened to my little girl but the whole experience of meeting guys opened my eyes to the number of pedophiles and strange men there are out there preying on vulnerable single moms."
"Sure there were some guys who genuinely liked children and were thrilled with the idea of a ready-made family - the guy I eventually found was like that," says Monica, "but I got a lot of bad vibes from most of the guys I met."
"There was nothing particularly overt about them - they didn't wear a sign spelling out that they were pedophiles," laughs Monica, "it was just a creepy feeling I got when I watched them interact with my daughter."
"The guys I found most creepy were the divorced dads," confides Monica.
"If a divorced dad didn't have access visits with his kids my alarm bells would start ringing straight away," laughs Monica. "I never even let my daughter meet these guys because if they are too dangerous to be around their own children they sure as hell are too dangerous to be around my baby."
"But even the divorced dads with access visits were a lot more creepy than the guys without any children of their own."
"There was one guy whose little girl visited every second weekend and there was no bed for the child," says Monica. "What sort of mother would allow their kid to sleep in the same single bed as the father? Either the mother didn't know what the sleeping arrangements were or she didn't care, and on both counts she is irresponsible."
"Men who are estranged from their wives tend to take their sex and affection wherever they can get it and with a little child in their beds who knows what they are capable of doing - if not for sexual gratification then as an act of spite against their ex wives."
"Another guy who aroused my suspicions was a divorced man with custody of his eight year old son," says Monica. "The wife had run off with another man and deserted the boy and I felt very sorry for the two of them when I heard his story."
"At first I thought he was perfect - a really nice looking man with a gentle way of talking - but I changed my mind when I visited his home."
"This guy was heavily in photography and his favorite subject seemed to be his son - but the photographs disturbed me."
"No," explains Monica, "there was nothing overtly pornographic about the photographs - but there was definitely something indecent about them."
"The boy was half naked in most of the photographs and posed in such a way - with shadows and lights - to highlight the boy's nipples and mouth."
"The man may have justified such photographs as 'art' but I saw them as indecent."
"He also had a cartoon pinned up in his study showing a circle of men - all joined together - use your imagination!"
"I felt even more disturbed when I met his son in person," says Monica. "The boy had a hang-dog look about him and walked in a very strange way."
"This boy was eight years old and was clearly - in my opinion - being sexually abused by his father," says Monica. "It really is true what all the statistics say - the offenders are more often relatives than strangers."
"I couldn't get out of that place fast enough," confides Monica "I wanted so much to help that boy but I didn't see it as my place to report his father for child abuse. That's a job for the neighbors and the boy's teachers - not me."
"I consider myself very lucky to have found a really decent guy after all the deadbeats I had come across," says Monica. "He never pushed to meet my little girl - he wanted to get to know me first - and it was only after I felt really sure about him that my daughter came into the picture. That's the way it should be."
<< Home