space invaders
Millie is hearing impaired and when she speaks of space invaders she's not talking about astronauts or strange men from Mars who visit her at night and perform operations on her. She's talking about people - especially men - who invade her space, her privacy and her right to a safe existence.
As a result of her disability she is more sensitive and aware of invasions of this type than is the average woman.
Trespassers are uninvited guests, and Millie seems to attract lots of them. They are people who call at her apartment uninvited and coerce her into giving them access.
"They just do it to exert power over me," explains Millie, "and to show me how unimportant I am in relation to them. They rely on the element of surprise and my basic human friendliness and courtesy to invade my privacy and manipulate me into wasting time with them."
Some of these space invaders actually invade Millie’s refrigerator, liquor cabinet and library as well - helping themselves to whatever takes their fancy. They are showing no respect for her privacy and property.
To deter the space invaders, Millie installed security features in her apartment. A security deadlock and a spy hole on her front door, and special locks on her windows.
She once used to leave her front door open slightly because her hearing impairment sometimes prevented her from being able to hear visitors knocking, but she soon found that to leave a door open invites unwelcome as well as invited visitors.
"Total strangers used to just walk into my apartment making dumb excuses when they saw me," laughs Millie. "Some may have been potential burglars, but most were just nosy people."
Millie now refuses to open a door to any uninvited visitor, and she refuses to talk to them through the door, too.
"I use the spy hole to see who’s there," explains Millie, "and ignore the space invaders - the people I didn't invite!"
"If the space invaders have any decency," says Millie, "they will leave a note saying they had called, and go away. If they don't go away, especially if it is a man, I fully intend to call the police. I’m not going to have my health impaired by these people stressing me all the time."
Another type of space invader that annoys Millie is the Close Mover. He stands far too close to her for comfort.
"We all have a minimum standard of closeness - the space between ourselves and another person that allows us to function normally," says Millie, "but mine is a lot wider than everyone else's and when my space is invaded, I feel angry and uncomfortable."
This sort of thing may happen to Millie more than it does to a person with good hearing, but it doesn’t just happen to her with people she is speaking to.
"Sometimes I’ll be on public transport and some jerk will come and sit next to me even though there are plenty of vacant seats," explains Millie. "Close movers deliberately invade private space in an effort to exert power over you, to unnerve you, to control you."
Millie gets up and leaves the room if a close mover is muscling into her private space at a social function; and she gets off the bus or train at the next stop if some jerk sits too close to her.
Millie doesn’t advise moving position, because these guys follow every move you make.
"When you move one step sideways or backwards to get away from them," explains Millie, "you’ll be playing their game, falling into their trap."
"It’s the same thing," she says, "when you try using gesticulating hands, a glass, a cigarette, a newspaper or a handbag as a barrier between yourself and a space invader. If you do these things then you’re allowing the space invader to control you."
Millie never lets a stranger, or someone with whom she is not on intimate terms, touch her. If the invader gets that close to her, then Millie believes that she has every right to scream.
Another space invader that Millie has come across is the Peeping Tom and the Porn Pervert. She is very wary of hidden cameras when she visits a guy’s apartment.
"It is not unknown," she warns, "for an unsuspecting woman to feature in a private or even a public porn film. When I saw what I suspected was a hidden lens in the bathroom of one guy’s apartment, I refused to use the toilet at his place."
The Peeping Tom, of course, spies on your intimate moments in your bathroom and bedroom.
Millie’s suspicion was aroused one day when a guy said things that only someone who has spied on her could possibly know. She felt humiliated and scared. And this, of course, was his intention. He had gained power over her and scared her.
"There's a chapter in the 'Perfumed Garden' male sex guide that actually encourages men to spy on women during their intimate moments," confides Millie, "and I think this is abominable."
"I’m very careful now to draw the curtains on all the windows in my apartment," says Millie. "It’s a nuisance on warm nights, but it keeps my stress levels down and that’s what’s important to me."
The ultimate space invasion, of course, is robbery. Millie is very careful of her keys. She keeps them on her person, or in a handbag that she takes everywhere with her. Her place was robbed once and although she has no evidence, she is sure it was her boyfriend at the time who had robbed her.
"Only he knew the hiding place of my jewelry and where I kept my money," explains Millie. "A thieving boyfriend can take an impression of your keys, get the impression made into master keys and rob your place at leisure - knowing exactly when you are in and out because you confide in him."
"Sometimes," she says, "a thieving boyfriend will operate with another guy, tipping him off when you will be out on a date with him. He has a perfect alibi because he is with you."
"A woman living alone is at risk," says Millie, "and being hearing impaired makes my situation worse, but I’d never want to share a place with anyone."
"I’m very happy living alone in my apartment, and as long as I take precautions to ensure my safety and privacy I can keep my stress levels down and get on with life."
"And, as for people who laugh at me and say I'm acting paranoid," adds Millie, "I ignore them because a true friend who has my well-being at heart wouldn't say such things."
As a result of her disability she is more sensitive and aware of invasions of this type than is the average woman.
Trespassers are uninvited guests, and Millie seems to attract lots of them. They are people who call at her apartment uninvited and coerce her into giving them access.
"They just do it to exert power over me," explains Millie, "and to show me how unimportant I am in relation to them. They rely on the element of surprise and my basic human friendliness and courtesy to invade my privacy and manipulate me into wasting time with them."
Some of these space invaders actually invade Millie’s refrigerator, liquor cabinet and library as well - helping themselves to whatever takes their fancy. They are showing no respect for her privacy and property.
To deter the space invaders, Millie installed security features in her apartment. A security deadlock and a spy hole on her front door, and special locks on her windows.
She once used to leave her front door open slightly because her hearing impairment sometimes prevented her from being able to hear visitors knocking, but she soon found that to leave a door open invites unwelcome as well as invited visitors.
"Total strangers used to just walk into my apartment making dumb excuses when they saw me," laughs Millie. "Some may have been potential burglars, but most were just nosy people."
Millie now refuses to open a door to any uninvited visitor, and she refuses to talk to them through the door, too.
"I use the spy hole to see who’s there," explains Millie, "and ignore the space invaders - the people I didn't invite!"
"If the space invaders have any decency," says Millie, "they will leave a note saying they had called, and go away. If they don't go away, especially if it is a man, I fully intend to call the police. I’m not going to have my health impaired by these people stressing me all the time."
Another type of space invader that annoys Millie is the Close Mover. He stands far too close to her for comfort.
"We all have a minimum standard of closeness - the space between ourselves and another person that allows us to function normally," says Millie, "but mine is a lot wider than everyone else's and when my space is invaded, I feel angry and uncomfortable."
This sort of thing may happen to Millie more than it does to a person with good hearing, but it doesn’t just happen to her with people she is speaking to.
"Sometimes I’ll be on public transport and some jerk will come and sit next to me even though there are plenty of vacant seats," explains Millie. "Close movers deliberately invade private space in an effort to exert power over you, to unnerve you, to control you."
Millie gets up and leaves the room if a close mover is muscling into her private space at a social function; and she gets off the bus or train at the next stop if some jerk sits too close to her.
Millie doesn’t advise moving position, because these guys follow every move you make.
"When you move one step sideways or backwards to get away from them," explains Millie, "you’ll be playing their game, falling into their trap."
"It’s the same thing," she says, "when you try using gesticulating hands, a glass, a cigarette, a newspaper or a handbag as a barrier between yourself and a space invader. If you do these things then you’re allowing the space invader to control you."
Millie never lets a stranger, or someone with whom she is not on intimate terms, touch her. If the invader gets that close to her, then Millie believes that she has every right to scream.
Another space invader that Millie has come across is the Peeping Tom and the Porn Pervert. She is very wary of hidden cameras when she visits a guy’s apartment.
"It is not unknown," she warns, "for an unsuspecting woman to feature in a private or even a public porn film. When I saw what I suspected was a hidden lens in the bathroom of one guy’s apartment, I refused to use the toilet at his place."
The Peeping Tom, of course, spies on your intimate moments in your bathroom and bedroom.
Millie’s suspicion was aroused one day when a guy said things that only someone who has spied on her could possibly know. She felt humiliated and scared. And this, of course, was his intention. He had gained power over her and scared her.
"There's a chapter in the 'Perfumed Garden' male sex guide that actually encourages men to spy on women during their intimate moments," confides Millie, "and I think this is abominable."
"I’m very careful now to draw the curtains on all the windows in my apartment," says Millie. "It’s a nuisance on warm nights, but it keeps my stress levels down and that’s what’s important to me."
The ultimate space invasion, of course, is robbery. Millie is very careful of her keys. She keeps them on her person, or in a handbag that she takes everywhere with her. Her place was robbed once and although she has no evidence, she is sure it was her boyfriend at the time who had robbed her.
"Only he knew the hiding place of my jewelry and where I kept my money," explains Millie. "A thieving boyfriend can take an impression of your keys, get the impression made into master keys and rob your place at leisure - knowing exactly when you are in and out because you confide in him."
"Sometimes," she says, "a thieving boyfriend will operate with another guy, tipping him off when you will be out on a date with him. He has a perfect alibi because he is with you."
"A woman living alone is at risk," says Millie, "and being hearing impaired makes my situation worse, but I’d never want to share a place with anyone."
"I’m very happy living alone in my apartment, and as long as I take precautions to ensure my safety and privacy I can keep my stress levels down and get on with life."
"And, as for people who laugh at me and say I'm acting paranoid," adds Millie, "I ignore them because a true friend who has my well-being at heart wouldn't say such things."
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