multiple midlife transitions
Jessica is 46, happily married, and she's reluctantly between jobs and in an uncharacteristic tailspin after the double whammy of losing her job shortly after the last of her three children left home.
"Suzie left a few weeks before I lost my job," explains Jessica. "I missed out on the immediate empty nest syndrome because I had been far too absorbed in my career to worry about all the things that other empty nest mothers worry about."
"I wasn't looking for a new direction after Suzie left home," says Jessica. "On the contrary I was looking forward to concentrating on my career. Losing my job came totally out of the blue -- and I mean totally and absolutely out of the blue -- and I am upset and angry that I have been placed in a position where I must reassess my life."
"It wasn’t so very long ago," says Jessica, "that you left school, got a job and -- barring any disaster to break the pattern -- you stayed with the same employer for the rest of your working life. It was just like marriage. You were in it for life. That’s how it was for my parents, and that’s how I expected it to be for me. I’m shattered that I can’t enjoy the same lifestyle as my parents who stayed in the same jobs all of their lives until retirement."
"My parents had jobs that gave them a safe, secure and comfortable existence and allowed them to plan their lives, move up in the company and accumulate considerable assets," explains Jessica. "I expected my job to last, but at least my marriage is as solid as a rock and I’m thankful for that."
These days, career advisers say that we can expect anything up to ten changes of employment during a 45-year working life, and several career changes, too.
"It’s beginning to follow the serial marriage scene," sighs Jessica, "and I deplore that, too."
"I've just about exhausted my ten changes of employment as well as several career changes in the last decade or so," says Jessica, "and what is so traumatic about these career transitions is that they are forced upon us, rather than being our choice."
"We might have started out being captains of our careers, with options to move into exciting new areas," explains Jessica, "but over the past ten years the trend has definitely been one in which the sands are moving so quickly that it is difficult to get established anywhere."
"The trend appears to be something that could very well become a permanent characteristic of 21st century working life," adds Jessica, "and I’ve been told that I have to adapt to it if I want to get ahead in the world."
"I find it particularly difficult to embrace all this change, and flow with it, and not see it as rain on my parade, because my middle name is stability and commitment!"
"Now, not only do we have to deal with normal career transitions such as moving from student holiday work to serious work, returning to work after being a stay-at-home mom and moving from worker to retiree," says Jessica, "but we also have to deal with career transitions particularly relevant to our times."
"My kids are quite happy with contract work, jumping from job to job," says Jessica, "but that's not my style. I like to plan my life and know where I'll be next year. Suzie told me months ago that she was leaving home and I was well prepared for her departure -- there were no hassles at all, and that's how everything should be."
Forced career transitions cause incredible personal damage and trauma to people like Jessica because they cannot be anticipated.
"I cannot plan for these career changes like I can a normal transition, or a new direction of my choosing," explains Jessica. "They just happen out of the blue, and to all types of organizations. There's no knowing which company is going to crash or lay off staff or start offshoring."
"These forced career changes render us powerless," says Jessica. "And, because they're acts brought about largely by corporate greed -- rather than acts of God -- they are not easy to understand and overcome."
"The ruthless hiring and firing ethos of the 21st century workplace has given an entirely different complexion to the term ‘career change’," sighs Jessica. "Also, this ethos has not only exacerbated long-standing discrimination problems relating to age, gender, race, religion and disability but it has also introduced new discrimination problems relating to issues that have nothing whatsoever to do with our ability to perform well at work."
As Jessica says, it is becoming increasingly difficult for anyone who is less than perfect to find and keep a job. She also sees discrimination not only increasing in the hiring and firing process, but also between co-workers.
"When good jobs are scarce and insecurity is infecting everyone," says Jessica, "I've noticed that solidarity among workers is being replaced by fierce competition, sabotage and cruelty. What sort of society is this? I am very depressed about what the world is coming to - it's almost as if were are hurtling towards total destruction of our social fabric."
"Suzie left a few weeks before I lost my job," explains Jessica. "I missed out on the immediate empty nest syndrome because I had been far too absorbed in my career to worry about all the things that other empty nest mothers worry about."
"I wasn't looking for a new direction after Suzie left home," says Jessica. "On the contrary I was looking forward to concentrating on my career. Losing my job came totally out of the blue -- and I mean totally and absolutely out of the blue -- and I am upset and angry that I have been placed in a position where I must reassess my life."
"It wasn’t so very long ago," says Jessica, "that you left school, got a job and -- barring any disaster to break the pattern -- you stayed with the same employer for the rest of your working life. It was just like marriage. You were in it for life. That’s how it was for my parents, and that’s how I expected it to be for me. I’m shattered that I can’t enjoy the same lifestyle as my parents who stayed in the same jobs all of their lives until retirement."
"My parents had jobs that gave them a safe, secure and comfortable existence and allowed them to plan their lives, move up in the company and accumulate considerable assets," explains Jessica. "I expected my job to last, but at least my marriage is as solid as a rock and I’m thankful for that."
These days, career advisers say that we can expect anything up to ten changes of employment during a 45-year working life, and several career changes, too.
"It’s beginning to follow the serial marriage scene," sighs Jessica, "and I deplore that, too."
"I've just about exhausted my ten changes of employment as well as several career changes in the last decade or so," says Jessica, "and what is so traumatic about these career transitions is that they are forced upon us, rather than being our choice."
"We might have started out being captains of our careers, with options to move into exciting new areas," explains Jessica, "but over the past ten years the trend has definitely been one in which the sands are moving so quickly that it is difficult to get established anywhere."
"The trend appears to be something that could very well become a permanent characteristic of 21st century working life," adds Jessica, "and I’ve been told that I have to adapt to it if I want to get ahead in the world."
"I find it particularly difficult to embrace all this change, and flow with it, and not see it as rain on my parade, because my middle name is stability and commitment!"
"Now, not only do we have to deal with normal career transitions such as moving from student holiday work to serious work, returning to work after being a stay-at-home mom and moving from worker to retiree," says Jessica, "but we also have to deal with career transitions particularly relevant to our times."
"My kids are quite happy with contract work, jumping from job to job," says Jessica, "but that's not my style. I like to plan my life and know where I'll be next year. Suzie told me months ago that she was leaving home and I was well prepared for her departure -- there were no hassles at all, and that's how everything should be."
Forced career transitions cause incredible personal damage and trauma to people like Jessica because they cannot be anticipated.
"I cannot plan for these career changes like I can a normal transition, or a new direction of my choosing," explains Jessica. "They just happen out of the blue, and to all types of organizations. There's no knowing which company is going to crash or lay off staff or start offshoring."
"These forced career changes render us powerless," says Jessica. "And, because they're acts brought about largely by corporate greed -- rather than acts of God -- they are not easy to understand and overcome."
"The ruthless hiring and firing ethos of the 21st century workplace has given an entirely different complexion to the term ‘career change’," sighs Jessica. "Also, this ethos has not only exacerbated long-standing discrimination problems relating to age, gender, race, religion and disability but it has also introduced new discrimination problems relating to issues that have nothing whatsoever to do with our ability to perform well at work."
As Jessica says, it is becoming increasingly difficult for anyone who is less than perfect to find and keep a job. She also sees discrimination not only increasing in the hiring and firing process, but also between co-workers.
"When good jobs are scarce and insecurity is infecting everyone," says Jessica, "I've noticed that solidarity among workers is being replaced by fierce competition, sabotage and cruelty. What sort of society is this? I am very depressed about what the world is coming to - it's almost as if were are hurtling towards total destruction of our social fabric."
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