real-life friendship dies online

Libby, a single working mom, is a social animal - she loves an occasional night out and she is a loyal and caring friend to many people - male and female - so real life friendships are vitally important for her wellbeing and when her special friend, Toby, turned into a virtual friend she felt intense loss.

"I'm not a computer person," explains Libby. "I work with the things - and play around with e-mail and the Internet at work, very discretely, but I wouldn't want a PC at home."

"At first it was a novelty to dash off e-mails to Toby," explains Libby, "but e-mail ultimately killed our friendship."

"Before Toby got online at home we used to call each other often and meet a couple of times a year with the old gang," adds Libby, "but all of this changed when he started e-mailing me at work."

"Instead of surprise telephone calls and delightful face-to-face meetings I received lots of hastily written electronic messages from him."

"At first it looked like the daily messages were bringing us closer together than we had ever been," explains Libby, "but they were merely an exchange of mundane information that neither of us really wanted or needed."

"After a while, we both tired of the daily e-mailing sessions and settled into a monthly catch-up e-mail. This went on for about six months and then one month Toby didn't respond."

"I sent him a couple of subsequent emails inquiring if everything was okay, or if I had said something that had offended him, but he never replied," explains Libby. "I know he received and read the emails because I had enabled the 'acknowledge read' facility."

"I tried to telephone him but his line was engaged - I suppose he was connected to the Net - and I admit that I could have made an effort to visit him, or write him a letter, but the e-mail friendship to which we had devolved had robbed us of normal friendly relations."

"It's hard to explain," sighs Libby, "but I didn't feel right about intruding into his private life. He was shutting me out for a reason and I just had to accept that."

Read more by Libby on this issue:

ideal couple split by net

Facebook friend mining

Facebook friends

Single mom resents e-relationships at work