Online caring communities

Barbara is 69 and due to a longtime Internet addiction has adapted very easily to being an empty nester, then a retiree caring for her husband and then a widow. She feels that being part of a global Internet village particularly allowed her to make the transition from a caregiver wife to a widow with relative ease; but typical of Barbara, and possibly all caregivers, is that she gains most from the act of giving -- caring about and helping others.

"My net friends were my life before Hank died, during the long and painful period of caring for him," explains Barbara, "and now they are my life-line."

"Hank didn’t share my passion for the Internet," explains Barbara, "so my life didn’t change significantly when he died -- and I see my net addiction as being a positive rather than a harmful influence on my life."

"Yes, of course I grieved," she adds, "and yes, of course I loved Hank and miss him, but life goes on and it is a relief, I suppose, that the huge burden of caregiving has been taken off my shoulders."

"It was a very small funeral," explains Barbara. "There was no wake or get-together afterwards. I just said hello to my daughter -- whom I hadn't seen for a year, and probably won't see for another year, if ever -- thanked everyone for turning up, and returned home. I got online and carried on as normal because that’s where my real friends are and that’s where my real life is."

“It’s only at mealtimes and bedtimes and public holidays that I really miss Hank," explains Barbara, "because I had shared those parts of my life with him. Naturally, it took me a long time to get used to eating alone, sleeping alone and celebrating alone, in a physical sense.”

“But I’m really not alone," explains Barbara. "I act as the hub of a small, yet very active Internet community. Everyone looks to me for help with his or her computer and Internet problems.”

“I am very much needed, and this keeps me kicking along as happy as anyone can be after the death of a loved one.”

Read more about Barbara's story:

global village widow

hijacked online communities