Downtown

Petula Clark's wonderfully uplifting song Downtown was the furthest thing from Darnelle's mind when she awoke two months after breaking up with her boyfriend, but by early evening it was so appropriate for her situation that she almost sang it out loud!

"I had run out of food and was procrastinating about going out," explains Darnelle, "but by 4.30pm I had got myself together, showered, exchanged a shapeless track suit for some decent casual clothes, piled my hair up high in a twist and applied some lipstick - I was ready to walk to the local shops."

"I don't know whether it was the walk that lifted my spirits - or the truck driver who whistled at me," laughs Darnelle, "but suddenly I felt like going Downtown to enjoy the bright lights and the hustle and bustle of city life. I could always do the shopping later in the evening."

"I caught a bus to the railway station and the sight of hundreds of office workers waiting happily to catch a train home - or to go out and have a good time - reminded me of how I used to feel when I was dating," says Darnelle. "In one sense I felt envious that they had a life and I didn't, but in another sense I was determined to pretend that I, too, was back in the swing of things."

"The train was so packed that I didn't believe I would find a seat," says Darnelle, "but I did - and when I caught my reflection in the window I actually looked happy."

"Who wouldn't feel happy when they're going Downtown?"

"I remembered when I had last been Downtown at night - it was last Xmas and I had joined some friends for drinks," says Darnelle, "but this time I was all alone and no longer had the sort of money you need in order to go out with friends."

"I walked around in a daze, hardly believing how much the city had changed in such a short period of time," says Darnelle. "And then I saw a familiar sight that brought a smile to my face. It was an old man selling beads. The same man in the same place for nearly twenty years. Amazing."

"I smiled and he smiled back."

"Even when I realized that the office workers had been replaced by the night crowd - the thugs from way out of town - I didn't feel threatened at all," says Darnelle. "Part of the magic of being Downtown is being able to relate to everyone - to feel part of the world - to no longer feel alone and troubled."

"And, frankly, the thugs looked a lot less threatening than the people in my life right now!"

"I decided to make my Downtown experience more special by seeing a movie," says Darnelle. "It had been exactly four years since I last went to the movies - I saw some kid film about dinosaurs - and for the same reason I chose to see another kid film. I wanted to escape in fantasy. I didn't want to see violence or high drama. I have enough of that in my real life."

"The young girl who sold me my ticket was very pleasant, wishing me a good evening," says Darnelle, "and the film was not only magical but funny. I laughed. Everyone laughed. I hadn't laughed so much for weeks, months, maybe years."

"After the movie, I said goodbye to the bright city lights and the night crowd and went on to do some shopping," says Darnelle. "I don't know whether late night supermarket staff and shoppers are more friendly than daytime staff and shoppers, or whether I was still in kid film fantasy land, but I ended up spending most of my time chatting with strangers who had approached me!"

"To end a perfect day, the driver on the bus home wasn't the usual grumpy type you meet in the daytime but a hip guy who had a funny quip for every passenger," laughs Darnelle. "I was sitting closest to him and he chatted with me all the way home."

"I suppose nobody in a funk can force themselves to go Downtown when they just want to stay cocooned at home, safe from the big bad world and heart breaking men," says Darnelle, "but when you're ready to take a risk, it's well worth taking."